Something I'm Not
by X-HARU
Summary: [Soriku] Sora is sent off to visit the obediance teacher, Riku. But Sora find's a whole new side of himself exposed when Riku shows him how life really is when our backs are turned away...


Hope you enjoy this fic! First chapter up. Yes, i'll get my point through with this.. there are a few warnings i should.. Nah! Forget it! Read on..

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts (sadly)

**:Fading Out:**

_Chapter One_

"I warned you! I repeated time and time again how this was your last chance. And what do you do? You blew it for yourself!" the young woman yelled across the kitchen bench at the brunette pouring a glass of vanilla coke.

"You need to chill for a minute," Sora smiled blithely. His caretaker Rita just rambled on again about how he would never make a living with such a poor quality life and a short-temper. Sora couldn't have cared less, it wasn't like she could make him disappear or anything, and she defiantly wasn't either of his parents to make him do what she asked. Even if he _wanted _them back, it wasn't like they were going to rise up from their graves and come home.

'_I don't need parents to tell me how to live my life anymore.' _He said inwardly while the woman got up from her seat and wandered around the room. She had taken him in willingly, but Sora never had any say about anything. He wanted things to just go back to the way they were, but they just couldn't. Not after all this.

She was a teacher and he was a student, a perfect pair in her case. Sora saw to it as '_her muse' _she never had anything better to do anyway then force more and more homework against him.

Her sentences of cursing came to a finish. "You might think this is a game, Sora. But I'm your caretaker! I provide a hot meal for you! I clothe you! I give you a bed to sleep in! And still you treat me like I'm nothing," she growled.

Sora –only finding interest in his drink- rebelled against her, "You don't know what I think and feel, lady. I've been living in this hole in the earth for two _whole _years now. Cut me some slack. If I had a choice, I _certainly _wouldn't be living here!" he said, not regretting anything he just said.

"Is that how you really feel?" she asked rather irritably folding her arms across her chest.

"You know what?" he sipped his drink, "Do with me as you will. I honestly don't care anymore! Bury me alive! Ship me off on a boat! I. Don't. Care," he pondered over the words kind of regretting the last statement.

"You don't care?" she scowled. Sora avoided her eyes for as long as possible because without having to look, he knew they'd be enough to make him blow. "If you truly feel that way then you'll be _really_ excited when I tell you about your new little escapade I'm sending you off on."

Sora looked at her bluntly releasing the half filled cup in his hand, "Escapade?"

She smirked. "Yes, Sora. Escapade! You'll love it, and I'm sure you'll come back with a _whole _knew perfective of things."

"You're actually sending me away?" Sora stiffened with confusion. His caretaker narrowed her eyebrows into a frown. Sora ran his palm across his forehead, "Fine. Do what you want. You say I'll enjoy this… then I guess I will, Rita!"

"I don't have the patience to compromise or even argue with you right now, so just go upstairs and have a shower. I'll explain everything over dinner," she said walking into the kitchen.

"I will then!" Sora dashed up the stairs and made a quick run for the bathroom. He slammed the door shut and clicked in the lock. He turned on the cold and hot water to suit him and let it fill. He was planing what kind of horrid things he could do to Rita right now. Maybe blow off her head with a riffle, or reverse over her slight frame with a car. He knew whatever she was planing on doing wasn't going to be for his benefit.

'_What on earth could she think of now? I mean, not even military school can stop me or change how I act… it's just me. There's nothing wrong with being 'just me', is there?'_ He often wondered why 'just me' was how it was. He mused over the small questions like, 'what if?' and 'what would have happened when?'

He truly was a good person at heart, but his childhood made him who he is. It was his one and only excuse to escape so much pain. Kneeling beside their graves and mourning was a great way to set his mind aside. It was his only exit from this world he wanted to call real.

He turned the water off and stepped in sinking until the water was up around his shoulders. '_Maybe it's not me who needs changing… but the entire world?' _

Sora came halfway down the stairs in clean clothing, stopping to hear the seemingly upset voice in the kitchen. "No… he's upstairs taking a shower…" the person she was speaking to must have asked what personality he had because next she said, "None. He has no personality what so ever! Tell me. What if you can't handle him?" she was reassured and ended the call with a quick, "Thankyou. Yes, right away."

Sora walked down the last few steps and pulled up a chair, Rita didn't seem the slightest bit surprised to see him. Just as quickly as Sora's entrance into the kitchen, she brought over two bowels of mixed chicken and rice.

He however couldn't eat. He was too overwhelmed to even think straight.

"Sora," she whispered quietly, "I'm so sorry I have to do this to you."

"You don't look too sorry," he replied irritably.

"Well, I am," She retorted. Sora spooned in a mouthful of rice after quickly working up an apatite. "Are you wondering yet, where I'm going to send you?" she asked looking genuinely confused.

"Nope," he lied through his teeth.

"I only think it's fair I tell you… Sora… I'm sending you off with an obedience teacher."

Sora inhaled the rice off his spoon, rapidly belting his chest for air. "What the hell do you mean?" he wheezed grabbing his glass of water and washed it down.

"Well… you're going to stay with this 'teacher' and he's going to teach you everything about anything. You'll love it."

"I'll run away!" he retorted, watching as a gin traced her lips.

"Good luck! He lives out in the middle of a country forest. There's _nothing_ for _miles _around but grass, trees, snakes, leeches, creepy crawlies, wolves, crocodiles and plenty of other creatures you'll become aware of when you're there!" her smile widened, noticing the hint of concern on Sora's face.

"You can't send me away to the middle of nowhere! That's just inhumane!" he yelled, banging his fist against the table. She winced as he barely missed hitting the end of the fork. Sora didn't seem to notice.

Rita resumed, "I do what I want, Sora. I think a few weeks with this man will do you some good." She spooned in more of her meal; Sora watched her mouth work away at the food.

"Are there any alternatives? Staying with someone you know? Dying?" he guessed, jumping from excitement.

"Sorry. My mind is made up." She stared at him, leaving the rest of her bowel to throw out later on. "I'll drive you to the airport… from there you will board the plane. When you land you will catch a bus to Kaiora District… he lives further out east, so you'll have to walk a fair while. But I'm sure he'll be prepared for your arrival."

Sora's stomach suddenly wanted to reject everything he had just consumed. Was there no end to this torment? "I… I'm going to bed…" he finally whispered.

"You're not going to finish the rest of your dinner?" she asked suspiciously.

"I've lost my apatite…" Sora restlessly got up and walked away, rushing back up the stairs. He ran into his room and threw the door closed. Silently, he walked over to his bed and fell face first into the pillow where he burst out into a cascade of tears.

Rita tiptoed up the stairs crouching beside his door. There was a faint sob coming from behind it. Her now sad eyes turned down to the ground. "I'm sorry," she whispered, getting back up and walking away.

Sora nervously chewed on his lip. '_I don't want to go… I can't go live with some stranger! That's suicide… something I wish I'd just do right now,' _he thought. He got up again from his bed and pulled out a suitcase from under it wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I hate this stupid place anyway," he muttered under his breath packing most of his possessives into the suitcase. He spent the rest of the night cramming everything into it, he couldn't risk leaving anything with Rita, who knows what kind of evil she may plague it with. Well so he thought anyway.

Sora sat on the end of his bed, holding his suitcase upright with one foot as he questioned everything about this man.

'_What if the place is an abandoned jungle home?'_

Most unlikely…

'_How old will he be?'_

Old enough to own his own property…

'_Will he be strict?'_

He _is _an obedience teacher after all…

'_Will he treat me like everyone else in this godforsaken world?'_

Just like anyone else would…

Sora groaned loudly, flinging his body back onto the bed. It would be the last time the bed would break his fall, if only for a while. He slowly crawled toward the pillow and pulled it under his had where his mind carelessly forced away all the thoughts of tomorrow…

* * *

An alarm sounded off in his ear. There was a bright light shining over him. He kicked back the blankets finding them too hot to keep on. He was wide-awake staring at two big blue eyes, "Good to see you respond to the alarm," Rita said as she gently shook him. 

"Is it time to go already?"

She continued like she hadn't heard him, "I've packed your things in the car. If I want to make it to the airport, I need you downstairs in three minutes. Quickly brush that mess you call hair, put on some clean clothing, make sure you've got all your bathroom utensils, and make sure you _go _because there's no time to take a bathroom break at the airport!" she jumped off his bed and raced out the door.

Sora lazily got up and dressed himself, quickly cleaning his teeth and doing just as she had asked of him. There was no point arguing with her now. It was already happening. She had his passport, ticket and bag ready to go.

He got into the car as she locked up the house. Rita asked one last time, "You haven't forgotten anything have you?"

Sora leaned against the window of the car and frowned, "Not that I know of…" he saw her staring at him sadly from the corner of her eye. "Can we just go damnit!" he yelled, stomping his foot against the floor.

Rita started the car and drove away from the house. The drive to the airport was only thirty minutes, living in the city _had _its advantages. She helped him unload his luggage, and even followed him into the terminal where his plane was soon to board.

"I'm one woman, Sora… I don't think you understand that," she sighed, dropping her eyes toward the ground.

"I don't understand a lot of things. Frankly, I'm starting not to care anymore. You can go back to your lonely little home. Teach your perfect little students and forget I even existed," he muttered.

"I wont forget you. You will come home… just give it some time." He couldn't believe it. She had actually used the word _home_! That was the stick that broke the dam. Rita continued anyway, "When you get there you are looking for a man who goes as Riku… please don't forget it…" she smiled.

"See ya," he turned away. Rita quickly ran forward roping her arms around the smaller youth's chest –a completely awkward moment for them both.

"Don't take this personally… I love you, Sor. Please forgive me."

The hug was reassuring, and he didn't want to let go of her. But he did, and walked off turning for one last glance to _finally _see the back of the woman.

He entered the shuttle and moved through the aisle. He came to his seat and shuffled through the empty row of seats. The plane was practically empty and after ascending, he pulled out his ipod and stretched out across the three empty seats next to him.

"I'm sure there will be a few ways to bring some excitement along with me," he smiled, closing his eyes.

* * *

There. Chap one completed.

Please review. And while you do that, I'll try and update.

**- X-HARU -**


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